Posts tagged create meaningful change

I Want to Be Happy; Being Selfish vs Being A Jack**s

“We are all just walking each other home!” Ram Dass

February 2019 New Moon Intention: spend more time mindfully caring for myself. 💜🤗🙏🏻 (so I can be more present in my life for both the small & big people who need me).  👧🏻👨

We often hear how being selfish is wrong. And we also know we can’t give from an empty cup. The “selfish” I am talking about today comes from a place of love and compassion, much in a Buddhist way to put it in fancy words. This kind of “selfish” doesn’t stem from an ego place of entitlement, nor judgement. It simply means taking ownership of your existence, actions, words, thoughts and current life situation. And doing things from a place of “being”. Pausing. And consciously choose words and actions that serve us. It’s quite the opposite of being reactive and automatically respond to an outside trigger (like when we disagree with something and we lash out on the other person trying to prove them wrong).

Therefore, today I’d like to invite you to spend 5 minutes (on purpose) asking yourself where in your life are you placing yourself second (third, fourth, no judging, okay?!). Right now mine is self-care (and also improving my listening skills) 🤓 what is/ are yours? 

Below I have put together a short list of practical things you can implement to see changes immediately in your particular aria(s). These helped me from getting back in shape when I stopped smoking after 14 years to running my first marathon, navigate career decisions and relocation to having more fun and creating new & exciting projects. Here goes:

  1. Conscious awareness.
    In practical terms: stop, drop and roll :)) meaning whenever you find yourself lost in thought (we all have that inner nagging monologue telling us that by now we should have got/ achieved x,y,z) you simply stop whatever you are doing in that moment, pause, take a really deep breath, and as the air goes out you pay attention to the feeling of the air leaving your body, chest and belly deflating feeling how everything relaxes on the inside. And this is how you get out of your head and into your body.
  2. Tiny goals.
    Set really small, measurable, achievable (should i say tiny/ even ridiculously easy?!) goals. Because when you will feel empowered you take more action, which stems more and more action and guess what? You are already doing it (whatever your goal is) without even noticing 🙂 how cool is that?!
  3. Fiesta all the way.
    Celebrate EVERY step of the journey. Of course we get sold into the mainstream culture of “go big or go home”. What you don’t see on Insta is all the “boring” workouts somebody has done in between their “before” and “after” pics, the endless pages or virtual pages tore off by someone who is writing, the cakes and muffin trays that have gone straight into the trash as recipes/ experiments have gone awry, need I say more?!
    You only learn by DOING not by talking about doing things:-) and each of these steps are as equally important as the taking that AFTER photo, or sharing your book with your tribe, or promoting that new recipe book with all the gorgeous yummy goodies in it.

How can we love someone else until we have learnt to love ourselves?!
How can we care for others when our own needs remain unmet?!.

Now that is something to ponder at the end of the day if you still think that being selfish is wrong.

As always, I would be happy to hear from you so drop me a line in the comments and let me know where in your life things right now feel out of balance?

Sending you love and good vibes,



Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash.